Definitions, derivations, theories and their side effects.

Definition:

fem·i·nism (n). a) Belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. b) The movement organized around this belief.
fem·i·nist ( P ) Pronunciation Key (fm-nst)n. A person whose beliefs and behavior are based on feminism.

Derivation: The women who believe in feminism -
1) don't wear bra
2) don't like men
3) use men only for sex
4) must be lesbians
5) defy tradition
6) will be bad wives / daughter-in-laws / mothers
7) will smoke and drink.

Theory:
Any woman who defies tradition even in the slightest way is a feminist. The fact that she does wear bra and likes men will not be considered. She is a threat to the society (read my wife / sister / daughter-in-law) keep her away.

Side effects:
1) No woman wants to say openly I am a feminist.
2) Feminist woman is every mother's nightmare - "who will marry her?"
3) No mother-in-law wants her son to marry one.
4) Some "open minded" men secretly admire these qualities and find one such woman for themselves and then when the woman speaks her mind tell her "Sweetheart, I am not against feminism, I love you for being independent just don't bring that up when I ask you to make my bed."

Definition:
mar·riage (n. )
a)The legal union of a man and woman as husband and wife.
b)The state of being married; wedlock.
c)A common-law marriage.

Derivation: Depending on the gender
1) End of happy life but beginning of a life that's taken care of by wife
2) beginning of a new chapter but no more funky jewellery (only karimani (Mangalsutra) and kaalungura (toe ring)), jeans (sarees and salwar kameez only please), no male friends, no take out dinners (married and still eating in hotels tche tche) - the list is depressingly long.

Theory:
1) Married man can continue to live his life only he should be seen with his wife often enough. No change in dress code is required of him.
2) She should wear sarees (ok salwar kameez), start going to temples, cook like Nala (!), know the solution to every problem - why is the cupboard stinking to how to keep away cockroaches to throw the best birthday party ever to satyanarayana pooja details to why is husband so losing weight. All on her own, no expecting dear husband to help.

Side effects:
1) Men spend more and more time in office to take care of their wives.
2) Women take less demanding jobs to take care of their husband.
3) Husbands who help wives are tagged "hen pecked"
4) Wives who ask husbands to help are "bloody feminists"

And so the cycle lives on and on and on and on.