Tuesday, November 21, 2006

New role.

I just realised that none of my girl friends had to go through the rigmaroles of an arranged marriage. I mean seeing the guy, meeting the family, having to decide about a lifetime in less than 30 minutes. Needless to say neither did I. Where as all the guy friends have. Strange! Considering the common belief that men have more freedom than women when it comes to marriage. I have my own theories about this phenomena but that's for another post. Why am I thinking about it now? Well last of my bachelor friends is looking for an alliance and I've decided to help (Of course his family is more likely to succeed than me). But I've realised (not for the first time) that I have no clue about doing this in a conventional way. Firstly you need to know his caste, sub caste, gothra (don't ask me what that means), star, does he have a horoscope or not. Secondly you need to find out the extent to which he / his family is ready to relax the caste and sub caste fundas for the girl. I can tell you these details can fill at least one page.
And have you tried registering in any of the many matrimonial sites? It is certainly not as easy as signing up at a job site. They have so many incredibly baffling details to be filled it is exhausting. But the toughest part is describing the guy. I mean if I was telling a friend about him I could but to tell an absolutely strange web audience is very daunting. I am in awe of men and women who have put up such details on these sites, most of them have even put up their pictures (a site said that you have ten times more chances of someone responding if you put your picture up). I couldn't do it for my friend let alone for myself. Anyways for now I have put up his profile and hoping for the best. I've never played cupid before and very jittery at the thought of bringing two people together for life.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Staring hurts!

When I walk down brigade road behind a girl who is dressed in lets say a knee length skirt and a sleeveless top I've noticed men staring hungrily at her legs and bare arms and other parts of course. My blood boils and I feel like putting my unmanicured haphazardly grown finger nails right through the *******'s eyes. And if you think well "she is showing off her legs and hands so what if he stares?" you've got another thing coming. This happens to women who are wearing full arm salwar kameez or even sarees. I've been there and felt those stares in all kinds of clothes. It is very very very uncomfortable, unnerving and actually makes me feel violated.
Delhi's JAGORI ('AWAKEN, WOMEN') a women's training, documentation, communication and resource centre that was established in 1984 with the aim of carrying feminist consciousness to a wider audience using creative media, has made this film called staring hurts...take a look
For more information about the organisation go here

Thursday, November 16, 2006


It is wonderful to meet people who have something new to say every time you meet them. Every day for them is eventful. Every task is an experience and every day is cherished. I wonder if they know that they are some of the very few people for whom every day is a new beginning and a new learning.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


Internet connection, cable connections, mobile connectivity, malls and multiplexes have homogenised our world. Earlier if I left Bangalore and went to Mysore I could tell the difference now even when I cross state boundaries its all the same. Sometimes even the people are the same actually not the same people but similar. Even the conversations are the same - mobile phone connectivity and traffic sense!

But once in a while my work takes me to places where traffic and mobile connectivity is only a small part of the conversation. they have real issues to talk about.

Thank god for small mercies

Friday, November 10, 2006


G is a very charming girl. Everybody wants to be friends with her. Both men and women find it easy to talk to her. They love her company. She could be the life and soul of a party when it gets boring. Women could could talk to her about careers, recipes, boyfriends, husbands, babies, PMS, lingerie, Movies, Books, Politics, Feminism, Chauvanism, environment...anything. Men could talk to her about politics, sports, corruption, responsibilities, girlfriends, not understanding girls...anything again. She had lots of friends. Then they all hit marriagable age. Things changed so rapidly that no one realised what was happening. Suddenly the friends circle vanished with just one or two links that remained.

Has it happened to you? What did you do?

Fourth estate revisited.

Yet another forum to critique the media! This is getting tiring and boring...