Just a lot of questions.

What makes a person time conscious? How does one make someone look beyond self and respect other people's time? How does one inculcate the habit to keep up with the deadlines in adults? What's the cure for procrastination or for that matter plain laziness? How does one say "you suck" nicely ? How does one tell a mother she is smothering her son with all her love and he's turning out to be a whining baby? How does a husband tell the wife, "give me some space"? How does a wife tell the husband "move your butt" with love? How does a daughter tell the mother "I am fine thank you. stay away" politely?

Another year is going by and I still have no answers to these questions that have bothered me all my adult life. May be its time I give up looking for answers and just stay away from such people. But that's half the world and sometimes inlcudes me - so that's not happening.

Boy how can the year be any different if I am stuck with the same old questions / problems?

Rainy days

She waited for him by the kitchen window every evening. He would walk past the window while coming back from work, smiling at her. Walk into the house and hug her, kiss her, without waiting for the door to close. On rainy days, he would take her hand and walk down the freshly washed streets, with the scent of rain still lingering; happily stepping into little puddles of water.

Today, it rained after a long time. Red earth was all moist after the clouds poured their heart out. She stood at the kitchen window longing for him. He walked by the window smiling, into his mobile phone. He walked into the house reading out the message and said it was very stupid but funny. She stood by the door, waiting for him to look up. He walked on muttering how he hated the rains and the puddles of water it left behind on the streets.

Quietly she went back to the kitchen window. She stood there looking at the little bird bath in her garden, brimming with rainwater and a sparrow wetting its beak in it.

PS: Inspired by Shoefiend's every day efforts.

Social Pressures!

I've written about my apartment and my attempt to make friends before. I still continue to do that I mean to make friends. But no luck so far. We have discovered one big reason for it. We don't have children. No I am not kidding. People lose interest the moment they discover I am not a mother. What will they talk to me? How will I possibly make conversations about diapers, children refusing to eat vegetables (It doesn't help when I say that I used to refuse to eat vegetables too), the enormous pressure to find the BEST schools and to keep up with the intense syllabus in schools or the shots one needs to give the children. No they cannot so we don't have friends!

Sometimes I feel they are all ganging up with my parents, grand mother and a few very concerned friends to get us to be parents. These days I have total strangers insisting that I should have babies. Few weeks ago a watchman in Madurai whom I was trying to be polite to gave me the address of a fertility clinic in Chennai and a few temples whose dieties are sure to bless me with children!!! He added "you don't have too many just two is good enough" very helpfully.

And to make the matters worst most of our friends have had babies this year, some of them even second ones. So everytime we try to meet them we hear "oh I am taking my little one to get some vaccination" or if we do manage to meet them we end up spending our evening listening to the new antics the ten month old lad has been up to. (people it might be cute to you but not to your friends especially if you are telling them for the 5th time!)

It is not that I hate babies (even V isn't averse to children he's just terrified of them. He holds baby like its a bomb about to go off in his very hands, worrying the parents). Earlier I even used to talk about how cute the babies are, how wonderful they smell right after bath smeared with johnsons baby powder and all that (for the record I have taken care of lot of babies in my time thanks to all the cousins and aunts who had babies) Once I was talking on the same line with a new father. He was very happy to have a baby and was going gaga over it. So I joined in helpfully. After 15 min of the coversation he asked so how many children do you have? I didn't have any. I hadn't even met the man with whom I could possibly have the baby with. So it was quiet embarassing and I swore I will not do any baby talk unless I have one myself. But that is turning out to be an obstacle in my social life.

PHEW what and all people do to you to get you to have babies!!!

Siempre una problema!

It is that time of the year again when I can't for the life of me figure out what gift to buy for V. I mean I can't possibly buy any more shirts / tshirts / watches / wallets / shoes / socks and other unmentionables that I have bought him over the years. It is so darn hard to find a gift for men. Of course these days its a little easier with all the new age gadgets flying about. But that option is closed on me because this husband of mine believes it is cool to be gadgetless! Although I am glad he doesn't fiddle around his mobile phone / ipod / laptop/ palm top and numerable other things that men and some women can't live without; at this time of the year I wish he was a teeny bit gadget friendly. And unfortunately I can't even just buy one and get him hooked on to it...tough one :-( And its even worse when birthdays and anniversaries come back to back. I cannot think of something good that quickly!

Seriously I have run out of creative gift ideas. I've known him a long time now and have had lots of birthdays, anniversaries and just like that days celebrated to cater to. Now I am actually drawing a blank!

May be this is when couples start getting a little wary of togetherness. I mean, seen it all, done it all, know it all...so what's new situation creeps in so you just get a little ummm complacent may be? so you say "hey i can't think of what to get for you" and he says "yeah same here" and both decide to ignore that special day. And that would probably the beginning of the end of romance?

Okay now I've scared myself and have to think of something and quick!

UPDATE: We have decided to buy something that both of us want but is very expensive to buy by oneself. And No Romance is not out of my marriage:-)

Madras Musings - II

1) Marina Beach is a lot cleaner than I ever remember. Every morning a fleet of workers and a monstrous machine clears the beach of all that people leave behind.
2) I am still envious of people who own houses on that stretch of Besant Nagar.
3) There are a whole lot more restaurants now and not just with authentic Tamil food.
4) The hoardings in Chennai are getting bigger. They seem to cover every single site on Mount Road.
4) Chennai's probably the only city that takes innovations in saree seriously. I mean designers every where are looking at adding more bizarre designs to their list but someone in Chennai has actually come up with a saree with a pocket! It can hold your cellphone the hoarding shows. Way to go!
5) Chennai also has new malls now. Unfortunately didn't get to visit any but the good old Spencer's.
6) The city is no more "conservative" as all of us would like to believe. Fashion's certainly on scale with what you see in other cities (Or like hardcore chennaites like to say "it looks like Bangalore") and people spend generously (only relatively :-) too. But yes they are way behind when it comes to pubs. In that aspect Bangalore rules (!)
7) Tamil film names are getting weirder. I saw huge hoardings of "E" just that one alphabet. Upendra fan I suppose?

All these changes not withstanding I am glad to report that it is still warm (I don't mean temperature) and certainly safe for single women venturing out even at midnight. Something Bangalore was never and I am not hopeful, it ever will be.

Nevertheless I am glad to be back home, to the cold winters, television, my desktop, home cooked food and yes husband too:-)

Madras Musings

I am back in Chennai after three years on work. It is nice to see that Chennai hasn't changed drastically but I am very sure it is not far away either. Hoardings advertising private villas are all over the town, marking the real estate's presence quiet strongly. Tidel Park stretch is being spruced up at warfooting.

My work this time is hardly romantic. I am seeing the other side of Chennai which tourists experience in a small scale when moving around the city - the garbage piles. If you thought you've seen it all just because you've stuffed your nose with cotton while crossing Cooum or those innumerable slums you pass through, let me tell you that's not all. The outskirts of the city has garbage piled up for miles. They are at least two storeys tall and spread literally for miles. And there are people wading through it to get paltry salaries. It is so disgusting that it makes me very very sad.

I will write more when I am back. I will try and keep the garbage out of what I write because I've had enough of it. I am sure I will not forget this trip for a long time.

PS: sorry for the cliched title couldn't think anything creative...mind's numb after five days shooting garbage.