My favourite city...

Mumbai will always be Bombay in my head. Mumbai somehow never struck me; much like the new horribly spelt and pronounced Bengalooru doesn't ring a bell in my head.

Bombay was this magical city for me while growing up. One because the only person I knew who traveled often to Mumbai was Dad's friend Bhandari uncle and he always went in an aeroplane (Flight is a new word in my vocab). So the place that one can go only in an aeroplane has to have magical qualities right? The second reason was that my family is from Dakshina Kannada and anyone in the 70s and 80s who wanted to make it big (read rich) just simply escaped to Bombay (not Bangalore) and came back with suitcase full of expensive goodies in a few years. That sealed Bombay's magical qualities.

The song "yeh hai bombay meri jaan" always played from the old radio at grandfather's house just before going to bed and conjured happy thoughts.

Later when teenage hit me and I thought of being this independent woman who lived on her own terms, I always saw myself in a well appointed Flat in Bombay living all alone with great joy. Of course the Flat would definitely be facing the sea I told myself. All this when I had not even seen anything other than Bangalore, parts of Dakshina Kannada and bits of Mysore. I hadn't even seen a train up until I was 20 let alone travel! But well imagination doesn't have any boundaries does it?

Then of course reality took over and I forgot all about living in Bombay. Also, I realised I am a hardcore Bangalorean nothing enticed me enough to stay away from here too long. Then I met G2 who was from Kerala but was a HUUUGE (believe me she was) of Bombay and after college she started work there and told me all about the glory of the magical city. I decided I should at least visit the city. Though it wasn't until 2007 I managed this. And who better to show me around than G2. The four days I spent there is something I can never forget. We stayed near Colaba and I was thrilled to bits that I could walk down and see the sea! Was awestruck by Tajmahal hotel and it's lore. Went crazy over the Colaba Causeway shopping spree. Loved all the hangouts! Most of all I loved the fact that I felt secure in that city. I walked around the city all by myself by day and never once I felt I was in a strange city. But what sealed the deal was when G2 took me on a night safari of sorts across Bombay post midnight that ended in Marine Drive. I was awestruck at how many people including lots of women were there at that time. It was an exhilarating feeling to be by the sea at midnight with no male company and none was staring at us. I wasn't the least bit scared. I decided that if anyday I decide to move out of Bangalore, Bombay would be my first choice.

But all that changed on 26th November. My security blanket was breached. My safe haven was torn open. I feel like I have no place to go. I know this is nothing compared to what people went through first hand. But I am angry, grief stricken, lost....just plain angry!

What makes people do something so unthinkably cruel for no personal reason? I thought I could talk about the anger and frustration I felt once it was over. But I can't. It hurts to think of what they did to the people in my favourite city. My fear is we will forget all this and move on...carry on with our lives doing nothing about what happened. It hurts to think about it. It physically hurts.

What the?

My house is about to be flooded anytime now...All day we've waited for it. Now it has started raining again and there's general gloom. I've packed my precious books and some clothes on to the attic and waiting...waiting to get flooded.

I am cursing all those people who have made Bangalore a living hell by cutting off trees and constructing buildings on lakes, lake beds and every where else.

I am cursing my own people because we only curse at a time like this but tomorrow when the sun shines again we forget all about it and go on living...forgetting to take action...choosing not to vote.

Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh

Hoot Hoot Hoot :)

Twice in six months. In May this year I spotted this owl staring down at me from one of the palm trees at the IIM corridors (it sure does pay to stay back after class in the name of library references :) And then today it flew right across me on my own terrace! I don't get to see many birds around here mind you. There's just miles of concrete jungle how can there be birds? But then there it was flying right across me and I followed it to the closest dome. but it sensed me and flew to the neighbour's terrace. Then we stared at each other for long time before it slid away quietly into the darkness. My otherwise boring day was made :)

This was a barn owl. Once they lived amidst luscious foliage in the outskirts of the city but with our greed for roads and buildings we've pretty much wiped out their habitat. But these fellows aren't giving up easily. They have adapted to the concrete jungles and find high rise apartments very inviting. Sadly these fellows get killed or injured when they come and nest in the buildings owing to superstition. I am not much for superstition but how about the story that Owl is the official vehicle of Goddess Lakhsmi? She'd be more pleased with you if you let her "vaahana" survive than putting up a bronze owl on your door isn't it? Apparently there is a Bangalore Barn Owl Conservation Group do check it out.

Hmmm :)

I don't make too many plans in life. But I hate it when the few plans I make don't work out. I had exactly 3.5 plans for this year and nothing even took off till September!

Last few months (to be precise 7 months) have been the craziest, weirdest and at times even hopelessly depressing phase of my recent adulthood memory. At the beginning of September I was actually hoping that I would wake up the next morning and it would be 2009. (I know that wouldn't make the problems go away but at least it would be a brand new year.)

And then I had this epiphany that I was trying too hard at everything. It is always a problem when one tries too hard. But the problem is I cannot sometimes (err not being honest I know but what the heck it is my version of the story) let go till I am all twisted and exhausted. And then the breeze from the far away Bodhi Tree hits me and there is enlightenment---tadaaa like that!

Anyways, I gave up trying too hard (for now anyway) And life was looking up a little bit. And then something happened that might just make this year very special. It was one of the many things that was driving me up the wall and down the drain depending on the time of the day. From a year that was to be the worst in my recent memory to a year to be remembered for ever, I'd say I don't mind that at all :)

Aside: I am trying very hard to complete the book "You are here" by Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan. And I cannot help wonder why I can't write a book and may be win a Pulitzer if not a Nobel. Sure I don't have a cat and I am not 25. But I am past 30 and know enough about cats, dogs and even some wild animals for a good measure. Not to forget the men I've known (In what way well you just have to wait for my book.) I will do review of this book the day I finish reading the darn book. I do want to finish reading it by 25 October because there is no way I am gonna pay fine for this book! Bad enough I have to pay 19 bucks for borrowing it.

Finally JF is up!

Hi Everyone,

Just Femme is back in a new avatar! We have new writers, new segments and an all new site.

Do check it out. And of course as always let us know, if you liked it or not!

JF Team is very grateful for all those who helped us with their ideas and suggestions in the past couple of months.

Go here to love it or hate it