Err...what was that?

Pollywood mein aapka aubhagat karte hain ji or Pollywood vich aapda swagath hain ji

The first sentence is the result of word to word translation from English to Punjabi online (did you know you have to pay if you have to translate entire sentences into Punjabi?) The second sentence is the sum total of the Punjabi I have learnt from watching Bollywood movies. Here are some more sentences I know.

Sadde naal ravange tho aish karoge
God Tussi Great ho
Chakde phatte
rab mainnu maaf kare
Gali de munde and sheher di kudiyaan
alu paratha aur sarson da saag and lassi malaiwala

Except for the last sentence everything else is from Bollywood. The last one is courtesy my friendly neighboorhood punjabi dhaba run by renjit chettan. Needless to say I don't know what most of those sentences mean (excpet for the last one of course) but the opening sentence of this post is meant to say "Welcome to Pollywood." I don't know if that's what it ultimately says.

Oh wait I do know what Chak De India means. (though still have no clue about the chak de phatte deal) When the movie released I was mighty confused as to why a hockey based movie is titled "forget it India." I honestly thought chak de means forget it. I assumed they were asking us to collectively forget about hockey (which we pretty much have but that's besides the point) Anyways while the whole world and its uncle was going ga ga over the movie, I happened to discuss it with some women journos at the press club. And there was one Delhiite (who's lived long enough in Bangalore to take offence to bad Masala Dosa at a certain darshini) enlightened me that chak de didn't mean forget it but buck up! That was a big Aha moment for me! The whole movie was put to perspective in that instant.

Let me tell you one more little story before I come to my point. Do you remember that horrendous movie called "Veer Zaara?" I was in Madurai back then and we invariably watched any movie that was running in "Maappillai Vinayagar" theatre every weekend (no movie ran for more than a week in that theatre) so one friday we went there and we saw veer zaara was running. Yes, they do run hindi movies sometimes, probably the only theatre that did so. And sometimes I don't blame them. The goddamn movie was bad, no doubt but to add insult to injury half of it was in Punjabi. I didn't understand most of what Amitabh was screaming. Neither did the other 13 people in the theatre or that Gujarati family of 19. (they were passing dabbas of dokhla, everytime they got bored of the movie and there was plenty of dokhlas that day). V was so furious that for the first time ever he was screaming in the theatre. "I didn't pay to watch a Punjabi movie!"

That was ok because the highest we paid for a ticket was Rs 30/- at Maappillai Vinayagar (I must be crazy to move out of that city you say?) But when we pay 170 - 250 and go to the theatre in Bangalore and end up not understanding the film; It is mighty pissing off to say the least.

I have nothing against Punjab or Punjabis. I love their parathas, lassi ,tandoori chicken and Bhangra. But just for that I have to learn the language? That is NOT FAIR. We don't hand out "learn Kannada in 90 minutes" along with every masala dosa we dish out, do we?

I was watching Bachna...recently and the part with Kunal Kapoor (he's delectable :) is entirely in Punjabi. In a theatre full of people only a handful were laughing, while the rest were wondering why the hell they were laughing. Yes, the script demanded it, he's a punjabi she's a punjabi all that I get. Then use your friggin money and put subtitles! Even the french put subtitles when they screen here.

Why is Punjabi the rage in Bollywood? A friend of mine thinks it is because of Manmohan Singh. I doubt that very much. Is it that Punjabi population is so high that only they watch it? Then make a punjabi movie with bollywood fellows no. Oh but that won't work. Remember how when Juhi Chawla acted in some Punjabi film with Gurdaas Mann they said her career in bollywood was over?

But then however huge the punjabi population is, it can't be more than Karnataka, Andhra, Maharashtra, Bihar and MP put together is it? (I am picking these states because I have first hand information that they most certainly watch a lot of hindi movies)

Even the Ads are in Punjabi these days! Have you seen the new Amir Khan ad of Tata Sky. I only understood Tata Sky from that ad. Guess that's the point eh? The essence matters. Language doesn't.

In that case, "Mittars, punjabis and des de munde" ("Friends, romans and country men" people c'mon) please shove off Bollywood and welcome to Pollywood.

Rab mainnu maaf kare!

Of Gadgets and Gender

Yeah you'll see that the title of the post makes sense when you read my post.

I wanted to buy a camcorder; since my knowledge of cameras is restricted to professional cameras, I had trouble zeroing in on the right model. All the specs of a camcorder sounded inadequate to me till someone reminded I won't make professional movies with them. Anyways after much research I had a shortlist. Usually all my shopping happens with V (when it is not girl stuff that is) but he was too busy this time so I took off on my own. The first place I went to is Chroma (Eva mall) and boy was I pissed off with their customer service!

Firstly I had to talk 3 guys to find out who knows enough about the camcorders and then that mighty ass was refusing to even answer any of my questions. The fellow knew nothing beyond was was written on a little piece of paper in front of each model. And he was just not interested in selling it to me! But when another guy came in and asked similar questions and the sales guy was all eager to answer them. Talk about gender bias! Just because it is a woman you assume that she knows nothing about gadgets? And she's doing time pass? What the...

This is not the first time I was shopping with them. I bought a printer from them (Star Bazaar, Koramangala) earlier. That time V was with me and I would ask all the questions and the guy would answer to V only. The funny thing is between V & me I am the one who's fond of gadgets and buys most of them. But hey I am a girl and I must be buying it because it is looking pretty on my kitchen shelf or may be because it is pink.

When will things change?

Since I had to buy the camcorder I decided to try another shop, this time went to Sony world on Koramangala inner ring road. And got answers to all the queries I had and bought one.

So there you Chroma fellows you lost a customer who spent more than 20k. I know you don't care about one customer but someday there'll be lots like me and if you don't check your attitude you will feel the pinch. Aaaah who am I kidding!

Today's philosophy

It is easier to be non-judgmental when you are younger. One believes in the goodness of people much more easily. One has seen so little of injustice that it is easy take things / people at face value. Hardly any heartbreaks when one is 15 or even 20...save for one odd little (ok big :) crush that didn't work.

To cut the long story short...I have become judgmental in most situations. Something that I am unable to come to terms with.

Complications of growing up!

Just Femme Diary

Ok so we have the template and the logo and the even writers. Now for the marketing part of it. I have never been a great success at convincing anyone about an idea which was not originally theirs. So marketing is going to be a HUUUUUUGE challenge.

There are some brilliant ideas that have come my way (some my own but mostly from well meaning experts) If only I was confident of pulling them off. There is also the "M" factor. I read somewhere that DNA launch in Bangalore has a budget of 20 cr! I have about 1000th of that budget :) So this should be fun!

And oh we need a female voice to do some bit of singing for an audio piece. I have no idea where to find them. Any of you can sing? Or know someone who can sing reasonably well? (exact words were "we don't need a Sunidhi Chauhan") do let me know.

I am going back to my creative thinking seat (in front of the idiot box)

The Coonoor Flower Show

I have missed the Bangalore flower show the last few years. And this time too I did. But then I made up for it in Coonoor. That place is a riot of flowers! And the flowers we pay 10s of rupees here are growing like weeds out there! Sigh....

Here are some of the beauties...

Many things

After a looong time we took a break and had a superb holiday in Coonoor. Great view, super fresh air, misty mornings, ginger tea, pepper rasam, hours of un interrupted reading, long walks in the drizzling rain. It couldn't have been better :)

I finished reading the mega novel kaanooru heggaDithi by Kuvempu in just 2 days. A feat unimaginable back at home! Even V, who's reading speed is one page a week, finished a book there!

************

V & I have become ammavan and ammaayi over the weekend. It is amazing what the birth of a baby can do to a family. It mellows down people. Make the most unemotional of people joyous to no end. What is even more amazing to me though is how everyone claims the baby looks exactly like him or her!

************

There was a time...not too long ago when I despised routine. I refused to do anything that was routine (excepting things related to hygiene let me assure you) But these days I find myself, putting things on a routine.

"Lets go for walks every morning"
"Lets call Ammumma every sunday evening"
"I will call mom every evening ar around 8"
"Lets fill our fridge every weekend"
"Lets plan a trip every 3 months or so"

I even plan ahead of most events! Something I can blame V for completely. He loves to plan. I had heard that after 7 years of marraige the couple become like each other. But I find myself changing while V is pretty much intact (I am sure he will disagree). Is that strange? or is it normal?

Just Femme Diary

It has been 3 months since we shut down Just Femme for revamping. The activities have been anything but slow at the backend! We've fixed up a date for the relaunch (which I won't commit to as yet :)

We have a brand new logo and a new template. A lot of enthusiastic writers. Some new, some old. Great new ideas. I am very happily surprised to see people being so enthusiastic about it. People I never knew before and people whom I barely know are happily offering to help in terms of content and ideas. Old friends and new are pitching in every way they can to help us out.

We still have a lot of loose ends. The foremost being the M factor, the money. We are still on a very tight budget. Hopefully that should change. But I am loving this starting from the scratch experience. So many lessons learnt everyday.

My new blog

I started another blog pustakada badanekaayi (or prosepaens for those who prefer an English name :)

In there I write about the books I have read / reading (like it or not is a different matter)

Do feel free to drop in, comment, agree and disagree :)

Staying on the subject of new blogs, V has started a blog too. This time he has promised to keep it alive :) So here's premiering VarmaTalkies

Random gyan

It is essential to have something to keep you busy. That way, one doesn't get the time to mope or pout when things go downhill.

"Why should I have to work for everything? It's like saying I don't deserve it!" Calvin said that of course, but works for me.